Leaning . . .

(see, this might as well be a continuation of the list, but, if nothing else, it’s amplified and a bit tangential in its approach).

Funny. I was feeling compelled to write this blog, and, before I did, I went back to catch up on any new comments to Do You Ever Just Want to Give Up? and there was Kacie’s comment saying just what I was thinking. So maybe I’m not the only one who sees and is amazed.

Christine, it is truly an uncommon grace to lean in as you do. It should be obvious that you are in pain and you’re experiencing incredible loss. I know that many of the things that deeply frustrate me just as deeply frustrate you. But I confess that I’m not generally so good about leaning into the One who loves me.

I yell at Him, yell about Him, complain about this world for whose fate He ultimately takes responsibility (though, yes, I know, it might be not His fault). I run from Him, bury myself in mindless distractions, discover endless avoidances. But not often enough do I turn to Him and say “I trust you” or even, “I’m trying to trust you.” Not often enough, if the truth is told, do I believe Him when He says He loves me and that He hasn’t (let’s not even touch the speculative “He won’t”) let go. Somewhere inside, I think I know those things are true, but maybe I’m holding on to too much baggage to truly grasp the Truth.

It takes vision and strength to turn to Him as you do. And if it is a habit, it certainly required discipline and persistence to attain and was purchased with much pain. It seems to me that that you have found the truly important thing . . . and you are doing it well.

You encourage me and challenge me by your example. I can’t imagine that I could be prouder or more pleased with who you are, the life you live and the way you live it.


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